#bangalore diaries#fears#wanna be free#escape

cloud walker is essentially a good word to describe the feeling. never before have i used cellphone in this frequency. i thought it usual and uncool. not using a cell when everyone swipes one sounded cool. i expected to be cool at any cost! i insisted being a cloud walker. my dreams, my ideals, my thoughts, myself. u alone the ruler of your world.

here am weak to walk in my clouds. am not able to click pics, wander, sit and meditate for hours...where is that freedom i found in music..whenever i listened i felt it, sang along, raised my arms, i rejoiced...break-free....

kaatukkul nulaikira kaatru edhuvum,
kaalani edhuvum anivadhillai,
aayiram ilainyargal thunindhu vittaal,
aayutham edhuvum thevaiillai...

even listening to 'janaganamana..' can't wipe off my fears...what are your fears? comes the real question. this is why i skip to my phone, search endlessly for things i don't know, routes not familiar with, apps which i haven't tried yet, gadgets out in the market even if i won't afford any, yes i am trying hard to escape my fears...and as it is known,the more you try to escape it conquers you. it is...

i don't belong to this...''nethi nethi''...this isn't what i want..this conformity makes me ill...ill inside. i need that great escape to my dreams, where i can be myself, left alone, where i don't have to act like a pro.